Pizza Pizza

Man #1: Nice peps
Man #2: Peps?
Man #1: Yeah, nice peps.
Man #2: What are peps?
Man #1: Pepperoni slices.
Man #2: Pepperoni slices?
Man #1: Yeah, your nipples.

- overheard in Spa locker room

Farming

Man "What do gay horses eat?"
Woman "I don't know, what?"
Man "Haaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!"
-overheard at Timothy's

Oh God!

Customer "Something just dripped on me, is your air conditioner leaking?"
Sales Associate "No... It's God's tears."
- Overheard on the boardwalk in Cavendish

Making Nice

Man "Guess what? I was nice yesterday"
Woman "All day?"
Man "No. Just once"
-overheard on Victoria Row

Whale of a time

Talking about the dead sperm whale

Mother "And apparently when they would try to move it, it would get all upset"
Son "Well mother, how do you know that?"
Mother "Well... because... I... I just do so there"
-Submitted by TK

Lob-Stir

Lady watching fishermen cook her lobster: "Be careful how you cook them. I
don't want them to suffer."
Fisherman: "Well, I could shoot them in the head for you first."
-submitted by JNT

Mumz

"I know I look like my mother... but I am prettier!"
-overheard at Peaks Quay

Reciprocation

"Do you think there is a rich part of Africa that has a store just like this except they sell all Canadian stuff?"
-An 13 year old boy asking a sales associate at How Bazzaar in Cavendish

Race Me

Woman "You look like you should be harness racing in that thing!"
Man "Well I want to harness something, but it's not a horse!"
-overheard at Mavors

Teat

"Whenever Daniel is cranky, I let him suckle my boob"
-overheard at the Royalty Centre

Potato, potato

Woman "And then she asked me if I wanted fries, rice or a badayda with that?"
Man "Isn't a badayda what you wash your genitals with?"
Woman "No, that is a bidet"
-overheard at Fishbones

The Outback

"The dingo ate Emily!"
-overheard on Victoria Row

Keep Eating

"The only thing worse than being dead is being fat"
-Overheard at Cafe Diem

Testosterone

"Yes. I'll have a real man's
drink.(as he nudges his friend in the arm) Gimmie a light beer".
-Overheard at Crowbush

Diddle

"I've been here for three days
now. I need someone to fiddle with my piddle. JESUS! Don't tell my wife I
said that. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA."
-Overheard at Crowbush

Butter Face

Guy #1: "Man, did you see that girl?"
Guy #2: "No, was she hot?"
Guy #1: "Yeah, she was hot....well maybe not hot, but cute...yeah maybe not cute, but fuckable."

-overheard at Subway on the Avenue

"I have never worked with anyone before where I can call them a bitch and they laugh"
-submitted by TK

"Hi my name is Bambi and this is my homo. Did you bring yours?"

1st man : Did you know that johnny doe got his hand shot off?
2nd Man: What happened ?
1st man: he was bouncin' in summerside and a guy came up and shot him in the hand and then shot himself
2nd Man: must've been about a woman

-Overheard at the Charlottetown Superstore
Submitted by Bambi

Man: Belinda Stronach is a star
Woman: Is she? I hadn't heard about her until 5 minutes ago
Man: Yes well, you also thought our Prime Minister's name was Steve Martin so I am not sure you are the best judge here

"Don't look now, but that woman used to be a man"

-overheard at the Farmer's Market
Submitted by Bambi

Bazaar

Man: There is a How Bazaar in Kensington?
Woman: Yeah, it is the original
Man: How Bazaar!

Gossip Folks

"Angela, I am hardly a gossip, I care too much about myself to be concerned with other's lives"

Fruit

Man: What's that?
Woman: A nectarine
Man: A wha?
Woman: A nectarine
Man: What's that?
Woman: A peach with no fuzz

"This is the only window in the whole city that shows you your real hair color"

-said on the corner of Kent and Queen